Нужен литературный перевод. Буду очень благодарна! Плюсик вам в карму! Our ancestors were a…

Нужен литературный перевод. Буду очень благодарна! Плюсик вам в карму! Our ancestors were a pretty scruffy, lazy lot, spending most of their time hanging around waiting for history to begin. They only ate what stumbled right in front of them and, unlike their posh relatives in the south of France and Spain, didn't even try to cheer up their caves by painting those daft-looking animals on their walls. Mind you, there are some amongst us, mentioning no names, who believe they did the caves a favour! However, when really at a loose end, they did do strange things with huge stones; stacking them in circles or lines like those at Stonehenge2 or Avebury3, probably for no better reason than to drive everyone crazy centuries later trying to work out why they did it. Eventually, the first tourists started turning up. These swarthy continentals didn't have to go through Customs. No ships, no ports — therefore no Customs. They didn't even have to state how long they intended staying. This began in 4000 years ВС, give or take a century. In those days they always said ВС after the date. "B" stood for "before" and "C" stood for "Christ". God knows how they knew he was coming. Simply the fact that they turned up in boats of some kind proves that the new visitors had more brains than the poor old native Britons, which wasn't difficult. They proceeded to invent clothes, wheels, refrigerators (only joking) and very sharp iron spears which made stabbing our poor forefathers (and fore-mothers) much quicker and easier. Meanwhile (and these dates always seem to cause fights among historians):